Hi, what can I do for you?

Well…I was thinking of buying a gun.

Yeah, well thats something we have plenty of. Funny how thats true of gun shops, eh? So, what did you have in mind, AK-47, pellet pistol, elephant gun, bazooka, bubble gum that is, what can I do you for?

Well, Im not sure, you know. I mean-

You thinking in terms of a rifle, a handgun, a-

Oh yeah. A handgun. Nothing big, you know. A handgun.

Well, come over here. Got a whole display case of handguns. Target pistols, semiautomatics, revolvers, 22s, 38s, 357s, 45s.

Damn, sure are a lot of them, aren't there?

Yeah, something for every need. I assume youre not a hit man, right?
Huh? What-

Relax. Only kidding. I mean you really don't know from guns, right?

Yeah.

Well, depends on what you want it for. Protection, right? Something to have around the house in case the moving men from B&E show up at 3 in the morning, right?

Huh, I don't-

Intruders. Burglars. 2nd storey men. Sneak thieves.

Oh…yes, yes. Protection. Cant be too careful these days, uh can you?

Thats right buddy. I got one each of these at home.

Huh?

Joshing man. Just putting you on. A little joke.

Oh yeah.

So, what do you think youd like? Personally, I think you should go for this 357 here. Good weight. Good accuracy. Plenty of stopping power. Hit a guy anywhere and hes not moving. Bet your ass on that. Here give it a heft.

Oh, I dont-

Hey, its not loaded. Comeon, Im crazy not stupid. Relax. Here. Just see how it feels in your hand. Yeah, thats it.

Oh, its heavy. I had no idea handguns were so heavy.

Yeah, they look light in the movies, don't they? the way they run around firing at everything that moves.

Yeah…

Youll get used to the weight. I assume youre going to take it to a range and get used to firing it-

Oh yes-

Which reminds me, youll need a cleaning kit. Important you keep your weapon cleaned and oiled. Don't want it blowing up in your face.

Oh my god, no. Absolutely not. Oh no, no.